Inuyasha on Crack
by v4 flower
Summary: [COMPLETE] Just another day with Inuyasha and friends...Sequel coming soon
1. Chapter 1

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: I know a lot of people have been doing this ever since, but I wanna join! Para happy happy rin! Sali rin ako? Okay?

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, his friends, his enemies, his sword, his everything, blah blah, or the Saw series...

Subaru: I apologize. What he meant to say was-

Rikuo: Wait. SHE'S a HE?! •_•;;;

Inuyasha on Crack

1: You Wanna Die?

Kagome woke up to the sound of metal scraping against concrete. She blinked, but all she saw was darkness. She tried to move, but she felt something tied to her arms and legs.

She was frickin tied on a chair for some reason.

The scraping noise stopped, and the sounds of footsteps replaced it. Kagome gulped nervously, hoping it wasn't going to reveal some kind of murderer like in those Saw movies.

But when light filled the dark space, it showed otherwise.

Kagome tried to keep her temper in check. "Inuyasha?"

The white-haired teen innocently stood by a doorway, one hand on a light switch and another holding a kitchen knife. His hair was sticking out with... hair gel? "Oh, you're alive."

"ALIVE?! UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL-"

But she stopped when she looked around his neck. The prayer beads were gone.

"You can't say that fucking word no more, so get used to it." Inuyasha leaned by the doorway and swung the knife around.

"WHY AM I TIED UP?!"

"SHH! Relax, I ain't gonna kill you, after all, this is for a good cause."

"Huh? What good cause? What's going on?"

Suddenly Souta appeared from the air and pointed at his sister. "LET THE INITIATION BEGIN!"

The kid now flipped the light switch off, and shone a flashlight underneath his head. He looked at Kagome, a stern look on his face.

"Do you, Kagome Higurashi, swear that you will always be tied to Inu-no-nii-chan for as long as you both live?"

For the first time, Kagome felt totally afraid of her brother, so she didn't really hear what he said. "Y-yes!"

"Okay, Inu-no-nii-chan! Do it!"

"Just get over it already-Wait, what? Are you guys-ARGH! IMMA KILL YOU!" she started bouncing on the chair, still bound by the ropes.

Inuyasha shrugged and placed his hand on the side of the chair, pushing it backwards until the backside touched the wall. Kagome stared at him with utter shock.

"You might wanna leave, Souta."

Souta nodded, and scampered off. Kagome closed her eyes as the hanyou raised his knife...

...only to hear the sound of ropes being cut from her arms and legs.

She opened her eyes and saw both her arms andd legs free. Rubbing them, she turned to find Inuyasha crouched in front of her, knife still in hand.

"Well? I got ya good for a first time prank."

"WHAT, WAS, THAT, FOR?!" She yelled at him, grabbing the collar of his kimono and shook him hard, his head hitting the floor.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop! I thought these were what guys in your time do when they want girls to notice them! Fuck! I even had to look like those "bad boy" things!"

She stopped, and let go of his collar. A small blush stained her cheeks. He... wanted to get her attention? Was he... trying to court her?!

"No. Next time, don't believe everything Souta says. And why do you have a knife?"

"Oh, for something, something whatever. Shit, my head-huh?" He looked to see the prayer beads back on his neck. "Aw, fuck."

"Wow. You were trying to look cool and all, but hiding these wasn't in your top priority."

Inuyasha just nervously chuckled. "Ehehe, right, about that... I have a question."

"Yeah?"

He smirked at her. "Do you wanna live at all?"

Kagome just stared at him.

And stared,

And stared,

And stared.

And she laughed. "Wow, stupid question. Ahahaha! You're so funny!" Then they both started to laugh.

Suddenly Inuyasha pointed the knife at her face, his voice serious. "No seriously do you want to live?"

And Kagome screamed.

"SIT!"

Author's Note: And that's it. Didn't expect the ending, huh? Crack people. Random stuff happens everytime. 


	2. Chapter 2

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: Huh. Another crack.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, but part of Rikuo Takahashi is mine, because voice provider's privilage :3 I also do not own any of the songs mentioned below.

Inuyasha on Crack

2: Love Spells and the Return of Rikuo (part 1)

"I'm in love with you."

Kagome almost tripped. With a surprised look, she turned around to look at the source-who else?-Inuyasha.

"W-what?"

"Are you deaf? I said, I'm in love with you." he flicked a strand of her hair from her face.

She blushed deep crimson. "Uh... Ahm... Well..."

There was a rustling of a bush behind the couple.

"But what about Ki-" her words were cut when he suddenly pressed a finger on her lips.

"Shhhh. Never mind her. At least you understand me." His auburn eyes looked much more caring and... loving?

"Ehm, w-wait a minute-" And with that, he kissed her.

He kissed her.

He frickin kissed her.

The bushes rustled louder.

"STOP! OSUWARI!"

CRASH!

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" She screamed. Hardly she ever finished her sentence when Inuyasha lifted his head from the ground, a stupid grin on his face.

"Inuyasha, don't make me do it..."

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS! 3" he jumped up and started to chase her. Literally.

"WAAAH! OSUWARI! OSUWARI! OSUWARI!"

"So love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do!~"

Kagome saw the Bone Eater's Well and hurriedly ran to it. She jumped in, and a faint blue light shone.

"Finally! Safe and sound!" she exclaimed when she reached the ground.

"Oh my little kitty~"

"Lord no. •_•;;;;"

Meanwhile in the Sengoku Jidai, their friends peeked inside the well.

"Miroku, what the hell did you do?" Sango demanded.

Miroku nervously chuckled. "Well... I kinda sorta accidentally sent a witch to cast a spell on him to make him admit his feelings to Kagome-sama."

"Baka! You do realize that's a bad idea?! Inu-hanyou + witch spell = trouble!" Shippo yelled.

"It was the only way okay? Besides, its better than him keeping his mouth shut. You know how annoying it is to deal with his stubborn nature."

SMACK!

Sango hovered over the bruised houshi and kicked his head. "We better find a counterspell or else."

*modern era*

"Sis, why is Inu-no-nii-chan locked inside our basement?" Souta asked through a mouthful of rice.

"He's lost it. He keeps chasing after me, calling me his kitty and whatnot." Kagome bit on her fish and chewed slowly.

Mrs. Higurashi grinned and looked at the basement door. Sounds of protesting were heard from behind.

"Kagome! My kitty! Come on, let me out! I even stripped! I know you want some!~"

Kagome shivered.

*sengoku jidai*

"The sooner we find that witch, the sooner we cure Inuyasha." Sango spotted a small hut in the middle of a forest.

"Wow. How ironic." Shippo muttered.

"Don't blame me, blame the author!" Sango protested.

Miroku groaned, and woke up finding himself being carried by Kirara's back. "Ugh... what's happening? What's going on? Why is Rikuo here?" He pointed to a certain inu-hanyou in the black shirt and a bloody ax.

"No one really knows." Shippo jumped on Rikuo's head.

"Nonesense, I'm here to keep you guys company! I don't even know how I got here but, what the hell, let's do this!" Rikuo raised his ax in the air and did a battle cry.

They stopped in front of the house. It was pitch black, but strange enough, a small doggy door was perched on the wooden door. Rikuo bent low, and using his Yandere Vision he looked around.

"I see something. Something tall..."

"Well? What is it?!" Sango readied her Hiraikotsu.

"Its very very tall... oh wait, its just a broomstick... WAIT! Wait... I can see long hair..."

Rikuo's golden eyes then turned deep bloody red to enchance his sight. "DUDE, LET ME IN I'M A FAIRY!"

Group sweatdrop.

They just hoped that Kagome was going to survive until they find a way to break the spell.

To be continued.

Author's Note: Aha! Another crack finished! What should happen next? I'm welcome for any ideas for part 2!

PARODY MODE

Pokémon, Inuyasha style!

Kagome: *looks around a grassy field* This looks promising.

Inuyasha: *appears out of nowhere*

Kagome: •_•!

Rikuo: A wild Inuyasha appears! *takes out a microphone*

Kagome: What the hell is going on?

Inuyasha: The fuck should I know, bitch?

Rikuo: Inuyasha used Insult! ^_^

Kagome: *feels angry* Oh for the love of-OSUWARI!"

Inuyasha: *crashes down*

Rikuo: Kagome used Subdue! ^_^

Inuyasha: *stays still*

Rikuo: Subdue is super effective! ^_^

Kagome: Uh... Inuyasha? You okay?"

Inuyasha: *mumbles something on the ground*

Rikuo: ?

Kagome: What was that?

Inuyasha: Rawr! *pounces on her* :3

Rikuo: Inuyasha used Tackle! ^_^

Kagome: ~/~

Rikuo: Tackle is super effective! ^_^

Inuyasha: *smirks* Hehe...

Kagome: No... don't you dare!

Rikuo: *stares and grins* Inuyasha used Full Yokai! Full Yokai is EXTREMELY effective! ^_^

mikumikulover23: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

END PARODY MODE 


	3. Chapter 3

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: Part 2!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Simple as that. I do not own the song Vegetable Juice, or Gravity Falls. You'll know soon why I said Gravity Falls. (for those who watched the episode where the Pines family plus Soos fall into the bottomless pit)

Inuyasha on Crack

3: Love Spells and the Return of Rikuo (part 2)

"I see it! Its heading our way... You guys might want to take a step back..." Rikuo swung his ax. But has he did, some of the blood on it had splattered all over the rest of the group.

"UGH! SICK! MY MOUTH WAS OPEN!" Shippo cried out, spitting.

"I can't stand the sight of blood! Especially when it rains down on me!" With that, Miroku fainted. Again.

"Don't you ever wash that thing?" Sango blocked the blood rain with her giant boomerang.

"No time. My recent rival kill's blood is still fresh." He chuckled at their reactions.

Sango: •_•

Miroku: ×_× (still knocked out)

Shippo: ... •o• ;;;;;

The door of the hut started to open. From inside, a girl with blonde hair and a purple kimono stepped out.

"Oh, hello houshi-sama. I see you got company with you." she simply adressed Miroku who was still unconcious.

"Akane, what the fuck did you do to my bro?" Rikuo demanded, and Akane just shrugged.

"Just doing my job."

"Wait, how come you both know each other?" Sango pointed at Akane, then at Rikuo.

"I have a wide knowledge about everything and everyone in the universe," Rikuo answered with sarcasm. When the Inutachi widened their eyes with awe he rolled his eyes. "No! Jeez, she's just a woman I met randomly while visiting Inuyasha."

"Oh. Can you lift up the spell you set on Inuyasha then?"

Akane nodded. "Sure. I knew you'd say it sooner or later. Come inside and we'll start."

The group followed the witch in her home, dragging the poor houshi by his legs.

And how is our little Kagome doing?

"Damn it," she pushed a shelf in front of the basement door. "Damn it!"

Inuyasha, cursed as he was, had gotten a lot more stronger and started to break the door open.

Kagome shrieked as the makeshift barricade failed and he jumped out, the same lovestruck look on his face.

"Inu wants a hug~" he purred.

Kagome face faulted before running off from his clutches. She went right into her bedroom.

Big mistake.

He hugged her from behind. "I love you~"

"Get off! Snap out of it!"

"Rawr!" he tackled her and started rubbing his head on her chest. He was purring, and she blushed.

(AN: Don't you just find it cute when Inu-kun says "Rawr"?)

"Kami, if you weren't naked and cursed right now, I would have enjoyed this." she pushed him off with all her might and yelled, "OSUWARI!"

Then she scampered off towards the Sengoku Jidai, where Inuyasha literally skipped off after her.

At Kaede's village the people couldn't help but laugh. Even Kaede herself laughed at the sight of Inuyasha chasing after Kagome in his birthday suit.

Up in the skies, a certain wind witch chuckled humourously at the scene. "Naraku's going to love this."

Meanwhile back with the other characters Akane handed Miroku, who was finally awake, a bottle with an orange liquid inside. He raised an eyebrow.

"What does this do?"

"Turn Inuyasha into a rock." Akane replied dryly. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Really?"

"Jeez, let me think." She looked up her ceiling. "No! Its the counterspell for the one you made me cast onto him, obviously."

Rikuo looked over his shoulder. "We probably should hurry."

"You think?" Sango went back on Kirara.

"You should go, or else Kagome will be up in more danger with the curse in your doggy pal. And Rikuo," she winked. "Call me after you guys are done."

Rikuo shivered. "No thanks, I'm already in love with someone else."

(AN: Wouldn't you like to know?)

"And the lucky lady is?" Miroku asked with his suggestive smile.

"You'll meet her in the next chapter soon enough." Rikuo shook his shoulders and walked ahead.

"Next... chapter?" Shippo wondered.

Finally they came across a running Kagome. She stopped when she saw them coming. "Oh, you have no idea how glad I am to see you guys! Rikuo? How did you get here?"

"Ask the author." Rikuo pulled out from nowhere a boy about nineteen with brown hair and blue-gray eyes. "How did I get here, Author-kun?"

"Magic!" The boy held his hands in front of him and formed a rainbow. It rained snowflakes and glitter and it actually hurt Shippo from below because of the pointy ends.

"OW!"

"Oh, Kagome-chan~"

"Ack, not again."

The whole crew looked at the source. Rikuo had to cover up Shippo's eyes because, their hanyou leader was stark NAKED.

"HOLY MOLY! HE HAS THE SIZE OF THE GOSHIMBOKU!" Miroku, although a pervert, managed to say it out loud. Oh the irony.

"Quick! Miroku, Shippo, follow me onto Kirara! Rikuo, you get Kagome away from Inuyasha until we get the counterspell on him!" Sango yelled and they scattered.

"All we need is a distraction. Does anyone of you know how to make very annoying noises?" Miroku suggested.

All of a sudden Shippo stood up heroically. A wind accompanied his move and it added to his "moment." "My time has come."

Inuyasha sniffed around for Kagome. He looked through bushes, and was about to move on when a red furry appendage caught his attention.

"Hey!"

He looked to see Shippo standing in front of him.

"Huh?"

"Look what I could do!" Shippo started dancing around, and held a plastic bottle filled with... vegetable juice? "Popipopipopipo!"

Inuyasha just stared at the little kitsune.

"Distraction! Distraction! Distraction!" Shippo repeatedly chanted.

Behind Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango crept up to him. "Ready?"

"NOW!" The houshi took hold of Inuyasha by the arms. Surprised, the hanyou started to squirm.

"Pour it over him!" Sango opened the bottle and splashed the liquid on Inuyasha's head.

All of a sudden he grew quiet.

His eyes turned back to their usual, gruff frown. "Ugh, what the fuck happened? Why do I smell... vegetable juice?"

"Buddy you're back!" Rikuo glomped him and hugged him tight.

"I know but YOU GOTTA LET ME BREATHE FIRST!" Inuyasha was choking hard and Rikuo released him.

Kagome knelt down in front of him shyly. "Are you feeling okay Inuyasha?"

"I feel like shit." he gruffly responded.

"Good. Cause you deserved it. Pervert." she stood up and walked away. Inuyasha followed after her.

"What did I do?!"

"OH YOU KNOW!"

Before he could run after her, Miroku held on his shoulder.

"I have a favor to ask you, Inuyasha." The houshi smiled kindly.

"What?"

"IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" He suddenly screamed and tossed the robe of the fire rat at his face.

Rikuo laughed. "Oh, wait until Hime-chan hears about this!"

End

Author's Note: Finally, part 2! Random shit keeps on happening! And yes, I actually have blue-gray eyes! People ask me if I'm a mutant sometimes :-)

HUMOUR MODE

Sango's Daydream (a.k.a Sango ships InuKag)

Kagome: *sits with Sango on a large flower field picking flowers*

Sango: *stares into space*

Kagome: Uhh... Sango?

Sango: *keeps staring into space*

~in Sango's mind~

Kagome: *surrounded by evil yokai for some reason* Somebody please help me!

Inuyasha: *appears out of nowhere and begins slicing through yokai with his Tetsusaiga* I'LL SAVE YOU MY LADY!

Kagome: *swoons* Inu-kun? My hero!

And they all lived happily ever after...

~back to reality~

Kagome: *sweatdrops*

Sango: *giggles* I SHIP IT! ^_^

Kagome: ?_? What?

Sango: *points at her, then at Inuyasha who is on a far away tree* I ABSOLUTELY SHIP IT! ^_^

Kagome: *blushes*

Inuyasha: *off screen* I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU SANGO! ^_^

END HUMOUR MODE 


	4. Chapter 4

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: Part 2!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, although its fun torturing the characters' souls. Joke!

Inuyasha on Crack

4: Inu's Gone Cuckoo (part 1)

"Inuyasha, be careful. I heard that some of the sacred waters around these parts of the forest can affect demons of all kinds." Miroku glanced at a body of water from their path.

"Keh! Its just some fucking water, what can it do?" was Inuyasha's reply.

The Inutachi had went on their way after the "incident" (AN: Ring any bells?) and Rikuo decided to stay with them and spend some more time in the Sengoku Jidai.

"Oh look! A monkey!" Shippo pointed at a small monkey swinging around a branch. It waved at the little kitsune, and he waved back.

"Aw, that's so cute!" Kagome giggled, giving Inuyasha a weird feeling of warm fuzzies. FRICKIN. WARM. FUZZIES.

Sango looked back at the river. "Guys, I think that we're almost close to the nearby village. The river's near it, anyway."

Rikuo whistled and sighed. "I could use for a little foodtrip."

"YOU HUMANS AND YOUR WEAK WAYS!" Inuyasha yelled, irritated, then earning an "Osuwari" from Kagome.

Suddenly, a huge crate came flying their way, and knocked Inuyasha into the river in the process. His friends hurriedly ran up to help him.

"Geez! Where do all this stuff come from anyway?!" Rikuo kicked the crate and Kirara poked it with her paw.

"Magic!" a certain blue-gray eyed teen yelled from above. The group looked up to find Author-kun hanging onto... Sesshomaru's fluffy thing? (AN: Seriously WHAT IS THAT THING CALLED?!)

"•_•" Was all they said and then just that, Author-kun was wisked away, while kicking poor Jaken on the face because of "being a stupid toad" as Fluffy-sama threatened them to shut up. Rin just giggled and continued to watch the (silent) bickering of Author-kun and Jaken.

"Okayyyy... Um, we probably should help Inuyasha now." Miroku pointed at Inuyasha who was asleep on the river. A few seconds later he came up coughing and spluttering.

"MY KAMI! I SAW THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!" He screamed and ran around in circles. Very un-Inuyasha like behavior.

"The Loch Ness what now?" Sango sweatdropped when Inuyasha fell on the ground. His feet resumed running though, so he ran around in circles on air.

"A mythical monster from another country." Kagome poked at Inuyasha, who then stopped screaming and air running. "Uh, Miroku, when you said this river can affect demons, how hard does it make him suffer?"

Miroku shrugged. "Very hard. Like, insanity problems. Why do you a-oooooooooh. Right."

"What's the cure then?"

"The cure is to-"

A scream from Inuyasha interrupted Miroku.

Miroku coughed. "The cure is-"

Another scream.

"The cure-"

Another scream.

"The-"

Another scream.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!" Miroku finally snapped.

Suddenly Inuyasha jumped up a tree and started scratching the bark off. When Rikuo tried to call him back he only hissed. Wait. HISSED?

"Great. Now he's thinking that he's been turned into a cat." Sango slapped a hand over her face for a few seconds.

Shippo snickered and took out a camera from Kagome's bag. "Priceless!"

Kirara looked insulted. VERY. INSULTED.

Kagome worriedly watched as he continued to rake through the tree like a scratching post. "Inuyasha, come down there! You're not a cat!"

He suddenly stopped, and slowly turned to look at her. His now feline-like eyes glinted. Then he jumped down, his claws poised directly at her. Kagome shrieked and closed her eyes, expecting his claws to tear her flesh.

But he didn't.

He was purring. Like a cat. On her lap.

"Uhh..." she was speechless. When she stroked his ears he purred louder and started rubbing his head on her neck.

"Wow, he looks much more adorable as a cat!" Rikuo did a face of awe.

"Awww!" Shippo flashed his camera again.

Kagome just smiled nervously. "Oh geez, the water really did this to him-" she stopped when Inuyasha licked her cheek.

Miroku: *had a perverted smile on his face*

Sango: ^_^ *giggles at the scene*

Shippo: °o° (he's clearly shocked)

Rikuo: *o* (his eyes are sparkling)

Kagome: •_•;;;

Inuyasha: :3 (clearly he was satisfied)

Then, Inu fell asleep, but after a few seconds he bolted up again, and looked at Kagome lazily.

"Kagome?"

"Yeah?"

He stared at her. Intensely.

He took a deep breath. "LOVE ME!" He stole Rikuo's ax and grinned evily.

"OH NO!" Rikuo yelled in panic.

"What?!" Kagome yelled at him.

"Now he's turned into a yandere! RUN YOU WORTHLESS MALE SPECIES! RUN!" With that he grabbed Miroku and Shippo and skedaddled. Sango then took Kagome and Kirara.

"Tell me, what is a yandere anyway?!" Miroku asked.

"A person who loves another so much-ack!" Rikuo dodged as Inuyasha swung the ax at his head. "-that they will kill any rival that comes their way."

"HE'S GONE INSANE!" Sango shrieked.

"Yeah. There's only one problem about that though." Rikuo had a straight face while running for a while.

"WHAT?!"

"I'M THE ONLY YANDERE HERE!" He yelled in response.

Crickets.

"What? Its true. Why do you think that I always come back with fresh blood on my ax?" the hanyou yandere crossed his arms and hmp'ed.

"You... you also... murder people?" Shippo cowered and hid inside Kagome's backpack.

"Yessss..."

Then Inuyasha caught up to them. He had the ax raised in the air. "NOTICE ME KAGOME-SENPAI!"

Group sweatdrop.

"Sen...pai?" Kagome muttered.

And once again, Inuyasha collapsed on the ground, dropping the ax and Rikuo snatched it back.

"What's the cure Miroku? TELL ME!" Kagome shook the houshi hard.

"Calm down Kagome-sama! The cure is-"

"W-what's going on?"

Everybody looked back at their hanyou leader. He was looking at them innocently, blinking.

"Inuyasha?"

"Huh?" he turned to Kagome. "Barbie is that you?"

Group sweatdrop again.

"B-barbie?! Who-what?!" Rikuo tried to hold back a laugh. Inuyasha then turned his head at Rikuo.

"Hey Foxy! Do I get to be a night guard again?" he gave Rikuo a huge grin.

"Wha?"

"Hello Barney! How is life being a dinosaur doing?" Inuyasha waved childishly at Miroku. Clearly, he had no idea who Barney was.

"Uh..." was all they could say. Then he collapsed again.

"HURRY WHILE HE'S OUT!" Too late. He's awake once more.

"Hi there!" he said in a dorky voice. He seemed more cheerful than usual. "My name is Inu! I had just met you! And I loooove you~" he hugged Kagome tightly.

"Please Miroku, WHAT IS THE CURE?!"

"Gladly. All we have to do is-"

"SQUIRREL!" Inuyasha stepped away from Kagome and began chasing a... deer.

This is going to be tough.

To be continued

Author's Note: Okay, I admit this is kinda getting stupid by the moment but ah, what the heck? Who cares? Please leave me some feedback! (If you wanna know why Inu called Miroku a Barney in the first place, its because he's wearing purple robes) 


	5. Chapter 5

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: Huh. But seriously, the yandere part... Haha. Gotta love Yandere Inu-kun. And is it just me, or is Inuyasha really the poor victim in here?

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. But, it would be nice... I only own is the UTAU Rikuo Takahashi. I also do not own the tophat thing.

Inuyasha on Crack

5: Inu's Gone Cuckoo (part 2)

"Okay, so to reverse the effects of the spell, all we have to do is to take him to the river opposite to the one he fell in to. Its guaranteed to work." Miroku pointed up on a hill.

"The things we do for that guy." Sango grumbled and went on Kirara, with Miroku behind her.

Kagome climbed on Rikuo's back and Shippo perched on her shoulder. "All set?" Rikuo asked.

"Yeah. Let's go find that dogboy, shall we?"

Meanwhile Kikyo and her soul stealers waundered around the forest. She saw Inuyasha by the sacred river, sitting on the grass and being unusually quiet than always.

Kikyo frowned, he didn't even awknowledge her presence. She slowly approached him, and his ears flicked at the direction of her footsteps.

He slowly twisted his head, and smiled at her eerily. More like, yandere-ish. It matched Rikuo's trademark Yandere Mode smile and he had blood stains all over himself.

"You..." he growled. He raised his bloody claws.

Before he could jump at her, Kagome's voice yelled out "OSUWARI!" and he crashed on the ground.

"OMIGOSH! ITS THE DEAD ONE!" Rikuo screamed when he saw Kikyo. He had a fear of dead people next to his fear of cucumbers. (Don't ask.)

"KAGOME-SENPAI!" the other hanyou screeched and came running towards Kagome, glomping her.

"I-Inuyasha, I don't think-" Kagome stuttered, but she got to admit, the attention felt really good. Rikuo tried not to laugh.

Sango, on the other hand, navigated on the air with Kirara until she saw their destination more clearly. "I see it! Its right this way, follow me!"

Then the Inutachi went on their way, completely ignoring Kikyo. (:-P)

"NOOOOOO! KAGOME-SENPAI IS MINE!" Yandere Inu-kun started wailing and waving his Tetsusaiga like a kid after the boys. Once again, he collapsed.

"Let's drag him to the river and dump him there!" Miroku and Rikuo started to take their hanyou leader by the arms and dragged him forward.

Eh, Inuyasha is really the light sleeper in this one.

He woke up again and found himself being dragged. "I MET THE LORD OF RAMEN IN THE STARS!"

His free hands started waving around. "I TASTE SKITTLES IN MY MOUTH! COME TO ME!"

Then he said to Kagome, "I want your bunny." All but Shippo guessed the double meaning behind that.

"What does he mean by bunny?"

"Shut up, Shippo."

It got worse when Inuyasha started to sing. WAIT. SING?!

Surprisingly, he had a good voice. "Don't you wish your boyfriend was as hot as me?"

"NO." Everyone said in unison.

They were almost to the river when Inuyasha managed to escape from them again, laughing hysterically and chasing butterflies. Kagome subdued him, but he quickly stood back up.

"Me-chan now!" he did a weird pose and jumped around in circles. (AN: Just so you guys know, Me-chan is Kagome's name shortened and with a -chan)

"Oh dear. The kamis absolutely hate us." Miroku groaned and felt the longing to stick his head into the river.

But nothing compared to the situation when Inuyasha started walking up to Rikuo and had a smile on his face.

Rikuo looked totally confused. "Eh?"

"I want your banana." he said, and Rikuo facefaulted. The hanyou leader smirked and hugged him supertight. "Teddy bear!" he said like a five year old and kissed him. Right. On. The. Lips. °0°!

Miroku was rocking back and forth on the ground like a traumatized kid, his knees on his chest. "Oh kami no! Erase image, erase image, erase image!"

Sango was too traumatized by the scene.  
"Oh please kami, free us from this gay suffering! Whatever sin we have done, we all regret!"

Shippo just threw up.

Kagome looked shocked. "•_•;;;;"

Rikuo pushed his friend away and yelled, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" He ran with Inuyasha dangling on his arm and he jumped on the river, sending him in.

The Inutachi waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

(In the background, they're all watching with a bored face)

Until bubbles showed up and Inuyasha came screaming up from the water and ran as fast as he could, while chanting "GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS!"

Rikuo emerged next, wiping his tongue with his hands. "Oh, the horror!"

"Will he be alright?" Shippo gazed at the direction where Inuyasha had ran off.

"Meh. He'll be fine."

Meanwhile at a nearby village, a couple of farmers were talking as they tended their fields, then watched with wonder as a wet inu-hanyou came screaming from the hills, running straightly to somewhere.

End

AN: So fun. And the *cough cough* yaoi scene *cough cough*

HUMOR MODE

Magic Just Got Real

Rikuo: *messing around with his files* Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete...

Shippo: *suddenly appears* Whatcha doing?

Rikuo: Nothing, Shippo. *continues deleting*

Shippo: *waits*

Rikuo: *sees a tophat picture* Shippo, get me my tophat.

Shippo: *confused* But Rikuo, you don't have a tophat-

Rikuo: THEN I'LL MAKE ONE! *claps his hands and a top hat appears*

Shippo: °0° !

Rikuo: MAGIC JUST GOT REAL.

END PARODY MODE

Next: Inuyasha and the Wonders of Cereal 


	6. Chapter 6

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: Beware of the shit fest-I only put it here for a joke.

Disclaimer: No point saying this if I keep repeating. I. DO. NOT. OWN.

Inuyasha on Crack

6: Inuyasha and the Wonders of Cereal

"What's this?"

"That's a can."

"What's this?"

"That's a clock."

Inuyasha banged his head on the kitchen table. "Ow."

"Don't do that. Your ramen's almost done." Kagome stirred the instant ramen and put the seasonings in. "Inuyasha! Don't eat the table napkins!"

"Huh?" he replied, caught in the act of stuffing the table napkins in his mouth. "Whra ri ra roo?" he said, which translated to "What did I do?"

"Spit them out or I'll 'it' you to the tenth power." she threatened with a glare. He opened his mouth and let the wet napkins fall to the table.

"What's cooking, good looking?" Rikuo suddenly appeared by the doorway, his usual tsundere frown replaced by a non-yandere-ish grin.

"What the heck are you wearing?" Inuyasha asked, his auburn eyes boredly scanning Rikuo.

"Author-kun designed it. Its a mix between a school uniform and a rockstar uniform!" Rikuo flicked a side fringe on his head, which was the only fringe colored blue.

"Uh-huh." Inuyasha pretend to understand his friend.

"Ramen's here!" Kagome set a red table in front of Inuyasha. Both his eyes sparkled. Literally.

"Ooh! Shiny!" Rikuo literally plucked out the sparkles from Inuyasha's eyes.

"OW! THAT HURT!"

"Stop being a baby, Inuyasha." Kagome rolled her eyes and took out a rectangular shaped box from the cupboards.

"Cereal?" Rikuo blurted out. Inuyasha looked up from his finished bowl of ramen.

"Cereal?" He repeated.

"Cereal?"

"Yeah, cereal. You guys want some?" she shook the box and it made a loud rattling noise.

"Duuuude, you hafta try it. Its divine!" Rikuo snatched the box from Kagome and poured cereal in the empty bowl.

Inuyasha had a testy look, but chowed it down in one gulp.

Then everything went weird.

Kagome looked at the ruined kitchen, the ceiling dripping with orange juice, scratches on the walls and rainbow vomit on the floor. Then she looked at the cereal box.

"Chocolate. Ah, nuts."

End

AN: That is what I imagine what chocolate does to Inu. Whahahahaha I am evil as... evil as... meh.

To my recent review, here's my reply:

HomestuckCrossovers: Thank you for liking this so far. Expect some more crack next time!

Coming up next: In Which Miroku Finds a Dead Possum 


	7. Chapter 7

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: What do you get if you cross Miroku and a possum? This crackfic!

Disclaimer: No own Inuyasha. So scroll down now...

7: In Which Miroku Finds a Dead Possum

While the Inutachi settled down in a makeshift camp, Miroku had somehow snuck away and disappeared. Who knows what he would be doing, but, meh.

He kept walking and found a couple of interesting things.

A dead possum. He grimaced at the scent of death, but went on his way.

An old broken carriage.

A dead possum.

A flower field.

A dead possum.

A boat.

A dead possum.

A unicorn dancing with a bunch of fairies.

A dead possum.

A gnome vomiting rainbows.

A dead possum.

A talking zebra on a rocking chair.

A dead possum.

A 50's disco bar.

A dead possum.

He just kept walking. I don't know. This story's crazy. Heck, why do I even write this shit-

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Miroku came back to camp screeching. He froze when he caught Inuyasha and Kagome kissing.

Miroku: •_•

Inuyasha: •_•;;;;

Kagome: •_•;;;

Then Sango appeared with Shippo, who was holding a dead possum. "What did we miss?"

"FREAKING DEAD POSSUM APOCALYPSE!" And with that, Miroku left screaming.

Meanwhile Sango turned to stare at the hanyou and his miko. "Meh, I've been through worst cases."

End

AN: Hahaha. Seriously, he should take a chill pill. I'm going to need some feedback guys! Here's another humor mode for you all!

HUMOR MODE

RUN RUN RUN

(saw this thing from Facebook, credits go to original artist)

Hojo: *gazes at Kagome* She looks so cute in the snow. *starts to daydream* I wish I could take her home.

Unknown voice: You can't.

Hojo: Yeah, but I want to. I bet she gives the best hugs.

Unknown voice: She gives the best kisses too.

Hojo: *turns around* How do you know-

Inuyasha: *evily smiles and points Tetsusaiga at him*

Hojo: *screams*

END HUMOR MODE 


	8. Chapter 8

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: From a school prompt by someone whose name we are hiding right now: "Inuyasha gets drunk and does a lot of shit so ridiculous that it would leave Kagome traumatized." So, I came up with this to satisfy my wild imagination (and dreams).

Disclaimer: Please... just scroll down... Because I do not own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does. That is all.

8: I Love You... Spongebob (feat. Author-kun) (Weird title, I know)

So, hey there everyone. My name is mikumikulover23, better known as Author-kun or Author-chan (because I am a hermaphrodite) and better known in the real world as Jared. I am the soul writer of this... shit parade so please sit back and relax, and enjoy my story.

Last week I invited my Sengoku Jidai friends-even enemies-to come and celebrate my advanced birthday. There was a lot of dancing and drinking involved. And a lot of... well...

After that, me and Kagome went back home, but then I noticed something silver and red behind us. We ignored it and went back inside her house. I was staying there for the night because, what the hell, who wouldn't want to stay in that awesome place?

When dinner was over I sat down on the living room floor and watched some TV. It was a pretty quiet night, until-

"OSUWARI!"

I sighed. It was a good thing that Mrs. Higurashi and Souta and their grandfather were heavy sleepers and didn't hear the noise of a body slamming on the floor.

"What did he do now?" I asked as Kagome appeared from the kitchen, dragging Inuyasha on the floor. He was in the same clothes as I did, since Kagome wanted hin to blend in.

"I actually find this nice." He spoke to no one in particular.

"Just change some clothes, you might get uncomfortable if you stay like this." She hoisted him up and walked towards the stairs.

"You know... You look soooo cuuute." he reached up and nuzzled her neck.

"Hey! Inuyasha!" she smacked his head and he just chuckled.

I facepalmed and kept watching. Hey, its very funny when you know a certain inu hanyou gets drunk, right?

She helped him towards the stairs, but then he started raising his shirt up. She couldn't help but stare and he gave a drunk smirk. "Hmm... You like that eh? Don't worry, no one else but you can see this."

"D-don't get so assuming!" Kagome replied, picking up her abandoned school bag with her other hand.

I snickered and turned off the TV.

Suddenly the inu hanyou threw up in Kagome's bag. "HEY! JERK!"

Taking out my phone, I swiped on the screen and recorded the two on the middle of the stairs. Inuyasha lazily wrapped his arms around Kagome's waist and pulled her close. "I love you..."

"E-eh?!" she panicked, but she shrieked when he threw up on her shirt.

"I love you... *throw up* I love you Spongebob..."

"Classic." I said and hit stop. I then stood up and helped Kagome with carrying Inuyasha up to her bedroom. He instantly fell on her bed and gave her pillow a tight squeeze. "Kagome-chan's scent is sooooo gooood~"

"I'm going to find a fresh pair of new clothes for him." Kagome then left. "But first let me change too."

I sat down on the floor next to Inuyasha and poked his head. Usually it would annoy him, but he's drunk man. I can do whatever shit to him.

"Mmmm... Kagome-chan..." he mumbled and giggled. I tried to hold back a laugh.

He giggled.

The oh so great Inuyasha giggled.

Well since he is drunk, that's sort of normal.

After everything I went to sleep on a nearby futon near Kagome's bed, while Inuyasha dozed off on the floor, half naked since he unconciously stripped off his shirt. It left poor Kagome traumatized and me replaying the video I recorded all over and over again. When the next day came, we all went to the Sengoku Jidai and agreed to use the video as blackmail in case Inuyasha does something... Inuyasha-like...

...This day rocked.

End

AN: Whoo-hoo! Inuyasha confessed his undying love to Spongebob! I notice my crackfics are getting a lot more shorter than before, so I am going to try and figure out a way to extend them. Please Read and Review! 


	9. Chapter 9

Inuyasha on Crack

Author's Note: The final chapter. This time we're going to victimize Sango! I AM AN EVIL MAN! FEAR ME! Keep a look out for a sequel, it can appear at anytime, anywhere...

Disclaimer: Please... just scroll down... Because I do not own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does. That is all.

9: Sango Keeps Singing Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya!

Sango was acting strange.

"Pop tart... pop tart... cat..."

Miroku turned to the sound of Sango's mumbling behind him. "Huh?"

Sango was acting very strange indeed.

She raised up her head to look at him. "Huh? What is it, houshi-sama?"

"Umm... nothing. I thought I heard something."

"Ok." Everything was fine, until...

"NYANYANYANYANYANYANYA!"

From out of nowhere, a poptart cat appeared in the sky, sweeping Sango off her feet and they both flied away into oblivion. Miroku just stared, and cursed his luck. That cat-biscuit hybrid was a way better woman catcher than he ever was.

End

AN: I was bored, okay?! And it was probably the best I could do. Sorry but this is the end of my crack series. Stay tuned for more crack in the sequel! Thank you reading (even giving me at least a review) everyone! Love ya all! 


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